


Allura Has Fun and So Does Lance

by MiaSpacey



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alternate Universe - Crack, Crack, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-09
Updated: 2017-07-09
Packaged: 2018-11-30 02:25:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,042
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11454024
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MiaSpacey/pseuds/MiaSpacey
Summary: drag queen!lance au





	Allura Has Fun and So Does Lance

**Author's Note:**

> forgive me

Lance had always felt more feminine than other boys his age. By the time he was 6, he started wearing tutus. By 10, he was growing out his hair and by 13 he was following makeup tutorials on YouTube. His parents were always supportive. His dad wasn’t happy about his son’s ventures into femininity, but he would support him ‘til the day he died.

When Lance became a pilot, the academy made him cut off his hair. “Too long,” they said. “It’ll get caught on things.” So, he reluctantly cut off his shining, cinnamon hair. What was left was a few wild sprigs of roughly cut hair. He keened silently. Hair was a woman’s crowning beauty, as his grandma always said. 

When he got into the simulation pod for the first time, he almost completely forgot about the indignity committed on his head. He felt completely free; just him and the artificial sky. 

So when he actually got into space on that mecha hell cat, it was amazing. Even if he was fearing for his life the whole time. And, to be honest, he wasn’t driving it, but he loved it nonetheless.

And then he was in that space princess’s house, and suddenly that strange man was there.

“I see…THIS ONE IS DIFFERENT!” The man was violently sniffing Lance. 

“I know, I like ‘girl stuff.’ You don’t need to point it out,” Lance said, tossing his head. If only he had long hair, it would have made the whole thing a lot sassier than it actually was. He felt like a cruel Expectations vs. Reality meme.

The man shook his head. “No, no, that is not what I meant! You see, you smell-” he paused for effect, “ALTEAN!” he proclaimed dramatically.

Lance rolled his eyes. “Am I supposed to be offended by that?”

Then the hot space princess floated over. That was how she walked; like every molecule in her body couldn’t decide whether to stay on Earth or not. Well, maybe not Earth. Mars or Pluto or Narnia or wherever the hell they were.

“Coran, relax,” the princess said. She had a British accent. Lance wondered how that happened. Maybe Doctor Who was real after all. “I’m sure it’s just a mistake. We _have_ been sleeping for 100 years.”  


Her eyes focused on Lance. “Wait, what did you say about liking girl stuff?”

“I like girl stuff. I’m kind of in touch with my feminine side.”

Keith glared at him. “Dude, what’s with the Nicki Minaj reference?”

Lance decidedly ignored him. The princess lit up. “We’re going to be great friends!”

Lance looked at the man who had sniffed him – Coran. “Should I be worried, or…?”

The princess didn’t wait for him to respond. “I am Princess Allura of Altea, and you are Voltron!”

Skip the explanation of how Lance and his friends/enemy are going to save the world. Allura had finished her speech and had taken Lance by the arm. “Come with me.”

Lance followed because, what else could he do?

He found himself in a bedroom. There was a well-stocked vanity. Lance could practically see all the highlighter glowing. A fluffy white rug lay on the floor. The bed in the corner was covered by an exquisite quilt and had a flowing silk canopy. There was a large wardrobe, too; so large it was practically another room by itself. And full-length mirrors hung on every wall.

Lance was in heaven.

“I’ve been just dying to have someone to experiment on,” Allura breathed. “May I do your makeup?”

“Gurl, you may do my makeup any time you please.”

Allura beamed. In a flash, Lance was sitting on a stool in front of the vanity. Allura picked up a brush. 

From then on, Lance’s face was brushed, dusted, painted, and highlighted to infinity and beyond. When Allura seemed satisfied with her work, she spun Lance around.

Lance’s breath caught in his throat. He was beautiful.

Allura really did know how to do makeup. His eyebrows, usually thin and arched, had been shaped and penciled to not look as weird. His lips were painted stark red. His cheekbones had been accentuated by Allura’s magical contouring skills, and his actual cheeks glowed with highlighter. He practically refracted light. And his eyes, oh, his eyes. Allura had turned them into a work of art. She had drawn on the natural color of his eyes and surrounded his eyes with sparkly blue eyeshadow. But she did it in a way that didn’t look tacky, the way it had on Lance’s sixth grade P.E. teacher. He could probably slash someone’s throat with the wing of his eyeliner. And framing his dark, clear, blue eyes were false eyelashes so luscious, they looked like feathers.

“Allura…I…I don’t know what to say.”

Allura’s face fell. “Oh, do you not like it? Did I go too far?”

“No, no. It’s perfect. Thank you.” Lance smiled.

Allura’s face reverted to her 100-watt smile. “Oh, I’m so glad!”

Lance tugged at the ends of his hair forlornly. It seemed like such a tragedy to have beautiful makeup and ugly hair.

She noticed his despondence and offered a solution. “If you’d like, I have a cream that makes hair grow…”

Lance lit up. “Really?!” He nodded frantically. “Yes, yes, I’d love that!”

So the cream was fetched and applied to Lance’s tragic haircut.

He watched in wonderment as his hair was returned to him. It grew thickly and spread over his shoulders. Lance’s mom had always said he was blessed with good hair. She was right. It was thick and shiny, but wispy enough that it was easy to take care of. It was a beautiful cinnamon color; he had never dyed it like many of the other recruits did.

Allura picked up a curling iron and scissors.

By the time she was done, Lance had a pile of curls on his head and swept over one eye.

Lance had never been happier. With Allura by his side, he went back to Earth to show his parents.

He opened his front door. “Mom? Dad?”

“Oh, son! I didn’t know you’d be home so early!” his dad exclaimed. He was in full drag with 8 other men. 

“PLOT TWIST”

**Author's Note:**

> thank you to my best friend who gave me this idea


End file.
